Bob’s Burgers Season 7, Episode 2 Review – What Doesn’t Kill You Might End Up in Heartbreak. | yahoo201027’s Bob’s Burgers Reviews.



We’re going on a trip, in our favorite fishing ship. No, we’re NOT even going fishing, but we are on a boat in this week’s episode of Bob’s Burgers, we’re on a boating trip when the Belchers go on a boat with Teddy where things are going awry along the way, all while Tina is trying to be responsible enough to get a cell phone by holding on to an eraser, in my Spoilerific Review of the Second Episode of the Seventh Season, entitled, “Sea Me Now.” Huh, I see, clever wordplay, writers. It’s like the phrase, “See me now,” only with the word “see” with “sea.” And I’ll shut up now.

Anyway, this was a good episode to watch, full of laughs with some surprises, some twist and turns, and of course, some character revelations, well, not actual revelation, more like a little throwback to pass the time of this episode. And of course, we got a Teddy-centric episode, man, haven’t seen one of those in a long time. When was the last time we got an episode with Teddy as the center of attention? I would say “Uncle Teddy” from Season 4, don’t know if Season 5’s “Housetrap” would count since even though we have Teddy, like in almost every episode, it spotlighted on Helen and her potential actions whether or not she murdered her husband, she would be a potential love interest for Teddy. But anyway, let’s get to break the episode down piece by piece.


The Belchers goes on a boat ride in this week’s episode, and when it comes to the Belcher family and riding a boat overseas, you think of the Season 3 episode, “Mutiny on the Windbreaker,” when Bob thinks that he is trapped on a boat away from the restaurant even though the family thinks that they’re on vacation. Well, this episode is nothing like that because it’s just your typical normal family outing with a family friend on a beautiful day in the crystal blue waters, I mean, what could possibly go wrong?


Yeah, so this family outing of a boat trip around the open waters has turned into a passage way for Teddy to reunite and win back his ex-wife. Yes, he had a ex-wife, which was mentioned back in Season 1’s “Bed and Breakfast,” holy shitsnacks, five fucking years since the topic of Teddy’s ex-wife was mentioned. And the last time we even see Teddy’s ex-wife in the series.


Yeah, making love to a guy in a seal suit, which leads to his fear of people in mascot costumes. That’s like when the Evil Monkey from Family Guy came home after dealing with a rough day and head upstairs to his wife, only to see her making love to another monkey, which lead to the Monkey being evil, which leads to Chris’ room. Don’t worry, it’s not like that in this series because Teddy did took out his fear by beating the ever living crap out of every mascot in the house in “Bed and Breakfast.” So the idea of why Teddy got a boat, is of course, to win back his ex-wife but the Belchers don’t think that’s a good idea because don’t forget, even if she is Teddy’s ex-wife, who of course is named Denise, cheated on him like multiple times when they were a married couple. It’s like the reason why Teddy and Denise are divorced is probably because major the spark was lost between the two, well, mostly Denise. Teddy, on the other hand, still love his wife, but actually felt betrayed that her name wasn’t mentioned in the duration of the entire series until right now in this week’s episode. Now, I’m no relationship expert since…of course, still single, but something tells me that Teddy trying to play hard to get to attract his ex-wife, who is working as a waitress in a what look like an island of a restaurant, which, why is there a restaurant in the middle of the ocean? Anyway, back to Teddy playing hard to get, on as what I’m calling it at this part of the episode…


Yeah, so Teddy plays keeping it real when he, along with the Belchers, saw Denise busting tables and try to gain attention by yelling while passing by while circling the general area, you know, doing donuts, but that when things begin to go down south when the boat his the pier. But don’t worry, Teddy got the boat out from the pier in one piece, as long as it doesn’t hit the other…


…pier. Goddamn Teddy. Yeah, Teddy hit another pier behind him after hitting the other one in front of him. I mean seriously, is this leaving the place, trying to think of another strategy to win back your ex-wife, because this feels like your learning how to parallel fucking park when trying to get your driver’s license. You know that feeling when you watched that part of the episode and then all of a sudden, the whole learn how parallel park memories coming back to you.


Okay, so the plan doesn’t work. See, what I said, keeping it real gone wrong when trying to woo your ex-wife, and now you might have caused damage to those two piers. And speaking of damage, because of Teddy damaging the the second pier that he hit after hitting the first one, the engine begins to pew smoke, which spells trouble for the Belchers and Teddy, but when you’re on a boat, you have your radio with you to call for the coast guard to help when the boat is in trouble and…


…the radio’s not working. Strike two, man. Strike two! And besides the engine beginning to fail, you have the boat beginning to sink slowly and the water rising. God, I hope the boat doesn’t end up like when the Titanic sank. And we know how that ended. It’s not a happily ever after. Anyway, that’s not the case because when it comes to not contacting the local coast guard or anyone boating due to a faulty radio, there’s always an emergency kit with a flare gun. So, all hope is not lost after…


…all. Teddy…I know this is probably like…what? Your first time driving a boat, but…you and Bob and Linda and Tina and Gene and Louise are in the middle of the open waters with a boat sinking, with no island in sight. But, might want to scratch that last one out when Teddy has a map and points on the nearest island, Caffrey Island. Yes, Caffrey Island. Does the name sound familiar to you? You should, because that’s the name of the used-to-be taffy factory that Louise, Tina, Gene, Jimmy Jr, Zeke, Andy, and Oliie snuck into to find the treasure. Yeah…good times. Good times.


Anyway, Teddy and the Belchers made to the island safely without drowning while swimming after the boat to safety by crashing into a few rocks, leaving it to die, way to leave an inanimate object to left alone. And…can…can we talk about this screencap…


…yeah, that screencap with Bob giving Louise a piggyback ride when escaping the boat into land. Adorable…that is all, guys. That is all, you can go home now. Anyway, getting back at track here, they did made it to land safely and saw a house at top of a hill. Yeah, a house. Thought it was going to be some sort of deserted island, you’re on own your, you know, like in the movie “Cast Away,” you know, that movie that stared Tom Hanks as the guy who got stuck in a deserted island and his only companion to keep him in company is not even a person, but a thing, an inanimate object, which is of course, is a volleyball named Wilson. Yeah, thought this episode was like gonna parodied the movie, because if it does, was gonna poke fun of, but this episode is not even reached the whole 5% threshold for that. Instead, we got a house at top of the hill of the island, so it looks like the Belchers and Teddy will be getting some help to get off the island and head back to the mainland. Because something tells me we’re not fucking playing Survivor if that house was never brought up. Of course, if they want to get to the house to get some help, they have to get pass through an obstacle, or in this case, obstacles in a herd of…


…yaks! Yes, I said yaks. Not cows like what Gene called when the Belchers and Teddy had to endured when walking up the hill. I mean, what kind of cow have majorly long horns on their heads. The two animals that I can think of describe of the cattle is either a yak or a longhorn. But, something tells me that longhorns don’t even have hair that long…do longhorns have hair? Anyway, during the liveblogging process of the episode, I did call them yaks because of the hair and the long horns, so I called them yaks for the duration of the episodes. And holy shit, those yaks are nothing to fuck with because when the Belchers and Teddy encountered those herd of cattle, the yaks begin to do their attempt to attack them, despite being like slow-movers or something. Don’t worry, they did escape, of course, they have to split up in a group of three. And reunite later on and continue to walk on through the island and have to face another obstacle along the way, a broken down bridge.


Yeah, that bridge is totally not up to code. So the climax for this hike to the house on the island to get off the island and get back to the mainland is going to be a major hassle because you thought that the yaks was one worry, now you have the bridge that looks like it’s trying to say, “One false move and you ain’t coming back.” And that would be troubling for the Belchers when Teddy begins walking carefully to cross to the other side, if It weren’t for the yaks coming back to bite them in the ass, meaning that they have no other choice but to cross that bridge. Thankfully, they did made it safely, with a little mishap that almost drop Tina to the bottom. Wow, thanks for the almost heart attack, guys. We should really do a count on near-death experiences in this series. How many is that so far? Like…seven…eight? But anyway, the Belchers and Teddy made it to the other side safely, thank god no one died, but they did encounter a guy with a weed whacker threatening to cut them, cause…we have an old guy and we know what old people would say if someone is in their property. Would say, “Get off my lawn, you rotten kids! And take your hula hoops and toy planes with ya while your at it.” I mean seriously, put the weed whacker down, they had a long day and they don’t want to add this into that list. Of course, that all changes when Bob said that they need a boat to get back to the mainland and luckily, the guy who owns the house knows how to drive a boat, so looks like they’re saved…but, not until we hear a little backstory on the guy.


So we found out that the reason why the guy lives in that house in the middle of the ocean and had a herd of yaks, or in this case, to correct the fans and myself, longhorns…I’m pretty sure one of the writers is either from Texas, mostly Austin or either one of the cities surrounding Austin, or maybe he or she went to UT Austin. By the way, they lost against Oklahoma in the Red River Rivalry last weekend. Just a little bring up. If you read this review and you are currently enrolled over at the University of Texas in Austin, please don’t send any hate messages. To me or the show. Just a little warning. Anyway, guy got a girlfriend till she broke up with him for an Austrian Prince and got married. Goddamn Austria. I’m not hating on Austria, I have NOTHING against Austria. Okay. DON’T send any hate messages. Both the European Country and the City of Austin and the University itself. Anyway, going back on topic, so the guy living alone with a herd of longhorns to keep him company after getting his ass dumped, as Bob connected the dots, is just like Teddy and his boat after broken up with Denise and of course, and…oh wow, really connecting the dots here. So much that the Belchers has to told Teddy to not live like that homeowner and what he faced in the past. You know, not wanted to repeat history. Or to keep it short and simple…


I’m sorry to bring that up, but somebody better do that and I know this is old and still annoying as fuck, but somebody had to bring that up. Somebody had to bring that up. And I apologize. But the Belchers did have a point, Teddy needs to move on from getting Denise back. I mean, you can’t just like go full on music mode and sing “It’s Over, Isn’t It?” all while wrecking your boat, endangering both yourself and the Belchers out in the open waters. You’re not Pearl, man. Oh…I’m going to get a lot of hate from this. Don’t send any hate messages. Anyway, we were gonna mention the last part of the episode, but we gotta talk about the elephant in the room when sticking into this bizarre adventure. Speaking of bizarre adventure, catch Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, this coming Saturday Night on Adult Swim.


I am referring to Tina holding on to an eraser. And the reason why Tina is holding on to it because all she wanted in this episode is a cell phone. Yes, a cell phone. I mean, I get it, she is 13 years old, and…what am I saying, you can have a 5 year old and can obtain a cell phone. And don’t forget guys, the last time Tina held responsible with a cell phone, think back to the Season 2 episode, “Bad Tina,” when Tina got the emergency phone, only to use NOT for emergencies, but to text Tammy. Anyway, Tina want a phone so bad but Bob don’t think so, mainly because of it cost too much for phone, not to mention the data plan. Not to mention, she always loses everything like the other half of her shoe, or the customer’s order, or her toothbrush…which…something tells me Tina sort of swallowed her toothbrush when brushing the back side of her teeth…yeah. And don’t get me wrong, I can relate to this because I often times lose things, and I’m pretty sure some or in this case, most of y’all, lose your stuff in daily, if not, weekly basis. I bet right now, you’re probably looking for your keys or your car when getting ready for a night out or a wedding ring after taking off to wash the dishes or like thirty thousand e-mails or a tax return waiting to happen to be released. Anyway, Tina want to get a phone by being responsible, and if she want to be responsible enough to take care of a phone and trying not to lose it, which you know you can enable GPS in case you lose your phone, by hanging on to an eraser. Not just any eraser, it’s Bob’s most prized eraser…it’s the only eraser that the restaurant have. And Tina is hanging on to it in the duration of the episode. What, like handcuffing your arm to a briefcase isn’t a good way to not lose an object? Anyway, she hold on to that eraser from beginning to end, or in this case, beginning to near-end when the Belchers crossed that broken down bridge, which Tina almost died from falling off, meaning that it’s her or the eraser that will be fallen down from the bridge. And it’s the eraser who will be taking the ultimate sacrifice. I’m gonna miss that eraser. Lived a long five years, and so…with a humble heart…a moment of silence for that eraser.


He will be missed! And he will be never be forgotten. Or they can replace it with a new one. You know, go to a local office supply store and buy a new one, there’s no problem with that.


We reached to the point where the Belchers and Teddy head back to mainland with the house owner driving them with of course, carrying Teddy’s broken down boat. When Teddy destroys the boat with a flare gun.


Okay, guess we’re having two funeral services once this review is released. One for the eraser. One for the boat. The funeral services for the eraser and boat will be held never due to poor planning. And that they’re inanimate objects. Anyway, the reason why Teddy has to destroy the boat is because he listened to what Bob said about his attempts to win back Denise and that he don’t want to end up like house owner. So, to keep it short and simple here, dude accepts to move on from Denise. Because that cannot be the main issue from other things that is going on. And that the topic of Denise cannot take over his life, because even though she is the love of Teddy’s life, don’t forget, you’re no longer in relationship. And if winning her back doesn’t work, then move on because I’m no relationship expert, but you can’t let that moment of when you and your spouse calling it quits ruin your life. Take some time off, hang out with some friends, take a walk in the park, unless you see a clown, then back away. The point is that you can’t live in the past when you enjoy your relationship with a lucky guy or gal after a bad break up, I know you enjoy some moments while in a relationship, but you gotta move on, man. There’s other fish in the sea, hence, “Sea Me Now.” Except, not really, but still, get with the program.


And of course, Tina. After attempts of getting a cell phone by holding on to the eraser and drops the eraser for her life, she decided to wait for the right time to get a phone. Now that responsible, well if I’m a parent, in which I’m not, because responsibility can be a major hassle. And something tells me taking care of a phone can a lot of work, just like paying taxes or mortgage on the house or pay bills for water, heat, or energy. However, this B-plot, though it doesn’t feels like a B-plot, more like a cutaway rather than a side story, almost seems like a waste of time, don’t you think? Well, not really because the girl is trying to get herself a phone to be responsible all while of course, facing certain death along the way when the boat sinks, made to the island where it full of longhorns, and had to cross an old, broken down bridge. Not to mention, had to drop the eraser for her life when she almost fell to the bottom. And if that’s not responsible, then I don’t know what is?


So anyway, what do I think about this week’s episode of Bob’s Burgers? Well it was an okay, or in this case, a good episode. I mean, we got another Teddy-centric episode, and although the character of Teddy is…um…my thoughts on the character seems conflicted but we did get some development in this week’s episode when trying to win back his ex-wife, Denise. Who also made an appearance in this week’s episode and of course, we did find out what happen to her after her and Teddy got a divorce, working a waitress, founding out that she been cheating on Teddy like multiple times, not just the guy who dressed like a seal. And of course, no relationship expert here, but Teddy trying to win back Denise by playing hard to get, or in this case, keeping it real, yeah…did not gain Denise’s attention, which lead to accidentally crashing two piers, one in the front and one in the back. Which leads up to landing both him and the Belchers to an island, had to fend off against a herd of longhorns and cross the bridge to find someone for help, who of course, went through a painful breakup just like what Teddy just endured. Which leads to Teddy destroying the boat and accepts to move on. And of course, something tells me that Denise or the topic of Denise will never be brought up again in future episodes. Of course, the island part of the episode was one wild ride to endure, talk about a life or death situation when getting some help to get off an island. Now the longhorns was not obstacle that almost gave me a heart attack, but Tina almost fell to her death when quickly crossing the bridge to escape the longhorn, now that when I almost got a heart attack. Seriously guys, where’s the near-death counter for the series? Of course, they did escape with the house owner who lives in the island alone to drive them off the island and head back to mainland and of course, Teddy destroying the boat and accepts that he’s not gonna win back Denise and have to move on from that. Which of course, we got to move on at this point. Don’t stay in the past. And of course, the Tina part when trying to be responsible to get a phone feels like a waste of time but she did trying to be responsible enough by holding to an eraser just to get herself a cell phone. So you know, she did try her best on not losing the eraser but had to drop when almost falling to her death while crossing the bridge. So good job on working hard to be responsible to obtain a cell phone, even though at the end of the episode when you said that you decided to hold on to that till she is fully responsible for that. So all and all, I think this episode is water under the bridge, or in this case, boat. You come up with a better pun then I made. Anyway, I give “Sea Me Now”…


…a 9 out of 10. Like I said, it was an okay, if not, good episode. But that’s up to you, the reader, to decide what how you really feel about this week’s episode. It was nice to see some character development on Teddy, seeing Denise in full body appearance for the first time, seeing the family and Teddy playing survival when arriving at the island, and of course, Tina being responsible by hanging on to an eraser. We’ll never forget you, eraser. Anyway, no new episode this upcoming Sunday, which is October 16th, but tune in October 23rd for our fifth Halloween special, tis the season since Halloween is drawing near when Tina and Ambrose team up against Tammy after stealing her idea for a costume, all while we’re playing CSI: Jack-o-Lantern in the Third Episode of the Seventh Season, “Teen-a-Witch.” So until I’ll see you la…right, forgot about one thing, it seems most of y’all out there are NOT doing a very good job on the whole “Where the Hell is Jessica” segment. So we may or may not be the last time I’ll be doing this segment, so here it is, “Where the Hell is Jessica?” Did her trip to Florida got canceled by Hurricane Matthew? Is she heading for the Grand Line to find the One Piece? Or is she creating a task force to take on the clown sightings? Do me a favor for once I can stop spamming this to my review, make a funny comment, best one will be featured in my next review. And speaking of comments, tell me what you about this week’s episode of Bob’s Burgers and I will see you guys in two weeks!

*** Disclaimer: Bob’s Burgers belongs to Loren Bouchard and Jim Dauterive, 20th Century FOX, Bento Box Entertainment, Wilo Productions, and Buck & Millie Productions. Please Support the Official Release! ***


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